As I sit home from work due to a nagging head cold, I can't help but notice the overuse of the phrase "Breaking News." It seems like every 5 minutes something SUPER important breaks.....like there's still flooding in Manville.....or commercials are coming up.....or Bush is dropping a deuce somewhere in the Green Room.
News programs used to attach this phrase with something that was TRULY fresh news and had meaning, but now the most insignificant thing gets this label. Entertainment Tonight lists things that pop up on its CBS Evening News and The Insider as "breaking."
It's almost like American Idol when Ryan Seacrest throws one of those, "We'll find out who made the Top 7......RIGHT after the break." Don't tease me with this crap. Viewers have enough problems already (like the fact they're watching Entertainment Tonight in the first place), we don't need more stress in our lives.
The only thing that's breaking is my garbage can with all of the used tissues I'm throwing in there today.
Wait....I think I just saw that reported on MSNBC.
The 1990s had Kevin Bacon. I'm starting to think Ben Stiller has taken his torch. The guy seems to be in EVERY comedy that's made. I popped in School for Scoundrels and guess who showed up?
Reason #234 why a time machine would be a bad invention: Ben Stiller replaces Chevy Chase in Fletch. Professor Carino is up in arms......Dr. Rosenpenis is never created.
Mass hysteria.
Tonight marks the final night of my graduate studies. I'm finally handing in the thesis and joining the ranks of the Masters. (Where's my green jacket?)
It's funny.....I don't feel no smarter. And I can't wait until the institution of higher learning that I attend calls to tell me I'm missing 0.5 of a credit and I can't walk.
More mass hysteria.
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