What a past five days it's been.

The school job finished and camp started today. For my transition, I gave myself a little vacation/bachelor party to Las Vegas. We stayed at the Mandalay Bay and a good time was had by all. A few things happened on the trip that make my list of the most annoying things of all time...

1. I never understand this one: You press the button for UP on the elevator and are waiting patiently. Then some other yahoo strolls over, SEES the button is lit and presses it anyway. Like the thing is going to shoot down faster for this bastard in the preppy Lacoste shirt? This is the MANDALAY BAY, jerkoff! There are probably like a dozen people on the thing. Go take your lavish bank account and play the nickel slots.

2. Or the genius who sees you in the elevator holding the button that keeps the elevator open and he STILL puts his arm across the doors to prevent them from closing. Do you think I'm pushing this button to keep it in place? And these doors close so slowly, you're not going to get crushed. Still, if you do it won't matter. That's one less jerkoff in the world.

The trip was a good time. I joined a couple of friends at the rumjungle on Thursday night. There were about 40 people hanging out. As I walked to the other side of the club, I spotted the legendary Alan Thicke drinking and smoking in the VIP section. I know the guy must be pushing 70 or so but he looked pretty good for a guy who can take money out of his IRA. I think it helped that he was with a broad who was probably in her mid to late 20s. I'm sure Maggie Seaver isn't happy about that.

The other celebrity sighting occurred hours after I scored three of a kind in 3-card poker at the Mandalay Bay. With the $450 payout in my wallet, I noticed a short man walk past me. I immediately noticed him as middleweight boxer Winky Wright. Not that I'm a HUGE boxing fan but he is my favorite fighter. I watched him notch a draw with Jermain Taylor a few weeks back. And he may be listed as 5-11 but I'd be shocked if he was more than 5-9. EVEN I could almost see the top of his head.

Winky (and I don't know if I'd go with that as a name if I was a boxer....it's not manly enough.....I might go with Thumpy or Wee Wee or Shnookums) was at a craps table with more "bling bling" than Kay Jewelers. I wanted to get a picture with him but he was way into his craps game. Plus his two security guards, two pit bosses and two casino dealers kind of scared me off.

Oh and the fact he could dismantle me with his fists probably came into play, too.

In closing....This might be the greatest column ever on espn.com. I especially enjoyed #2 Boom Goes the Dynamite. It almost makes me feel like I should have gone into broadcast journalism.

Nah.

Jersey Girl....I salute you with #6. I'm certain you'll be linking that site to your next blog.

Coke rewards up to 330.

As I headed home from work, I spotted a balloon tied to a mailbox. The balloon read "Class of 2006." I guess the people who lived there must have had a party this past weekend. And no, I wasn't invited. It's ok though.....I left a lit batch on their front doorstep.

No ill will toward them.

I guess it's pretty weird to think that we're already up to the Class of '06. I think back to my time in high school and all of the " '92" and " '93" varsity jackets and me thinking, "Damn, that's a long time away!" Well, that's still the case but in a different direction.

It's just amazing how time flies.

Hmmm....maybe I can save my varsity jacket for my great-great grandkids. I'm sure they'd be proud to have a jacket with a cool golf logo on the back and "STAT" on the side. I wasn't THAT big of a loser, thank you. I did have cross-county adorning the back side (told you I was an athlete) with a '94 in the middle.

Come to think of it.....2094....I guess that's not that far away.

I came across this story today. Nestle wants to buy Jenny Craig. That doesn't really make much sense. Isn't that like Verizon trying to sell cell phones to the National Association for the Deaf?

If a Game 7 happens and no one cares, does it still count? I think I'd rather watch Poland/Costa Rica.

My Coke Rewards.....up to 307.

We had our rival middle school softball game yesterday. Since our town has two middle schools (We'll call them Kennedy School...because it ALWAYS seems like everything in this country that was built post 1963 was named after JFK) and the Bonds Institute, our faculty (Kennedy School) played their faculty (Bonds Institute).

Why "Bonds Institute"? One look at THEIR faculty, and it was obvious drug testing doesn't apply on that side of the township.

Ok....so they spent the previous day practicing while we went about our daily lives. And yes, they had four dudes who made Carlos Delgado look like Herve Villechaize (however, not in his current state). But I still thought we had a chance. Then again, I thought Crystal Pepsi was going to be hugely successful.

One of the guys I play softball with on Sundays was on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy this week. Turns out the featured couple eloped and got married in Las Vegas. That one cat Carson that everyone knows from the show married them both. Well, I mean, he didn't marry them BOTH....it's not like the show was in Utah. And one of them was female...so, well you know where I'm going with that.

He did seem excited when they brought out a basketball court and he got to play around with the balls.

Rita Rudner was on the program, too. Good to see she's still getting work. I think I saw her on Route 22 with a "Will Work for Food" sign the other day.

My new obsession is that show 24. Yeah, I'm about 6 years behind the times. One of my students tried to sell me his iPod for $200 this week. I told him I wouldn't be able to purchase it until about 2009 or so. Time to get rid of my rotary cell phone.

I just ordered Season 4 of the program. Midway through season 3, I am convinced that it may be the greatest show ever to be shown on the airwaves. It might not be very realistic...that program has had more actors revived from the dead than a Lifetime channel film festival (That Meredith Baxter Birney just WON'T DIE!!!)

Jack Bauer might have the most dangerous job in the world.....unless we're counting middle school teacher. Five days left of school! And one week till I hit Vegas. Yes, that's trouble.

The annual 8th grade trip was held and for the first time in a while it was an overnight trip to Washington D.C.

Yours truly was approached to chaperone the trip and, well, when you don't have tenure and look at this way as the only avenue to see the country because you work almost every week of the year (teaching and summer jobs....yes, I'm the lone teacher without "summers off")...you have no choice but to decide to head off to the nation's capital.

It truly is amazing how much knowledge our young people lack when it comes to knowledge of our country.

Who are the senators from New Jersey? "No clue."

How many senators are there in the country? "Ummm....10?"

Is Washington D.C. a state? "Yeah, probably."

What's the name of 50 Cent's last CD? "You talkin' bout "The Massacre" or "Get Rich 'N Die Tryin'"? Cuz that 2nd CD is from a movie 'n (expletive)."

There's nothing more exciting than watching 160 teenagers take over a hotel and pretend that it's their own little country.

Male Student #1: Why we gotta stay in our rooms?

Chaperone: Because we want this place still standing tomorrow morning. And I don't feel like being on the front page of the newspaper.

Female Student #1: But I wants to go to (insert boy's name here)'s room.

Chaperone: Uh, no. I don't want you staring at the color pink in some pregnancy test in a few days.

I think the classic moment on the trip was at the hotel in the evening. We were responsible for taking out all the telephones before lockdown around 11 bells. One of the chaperones walked into a boys' room and this exchange occurred.

Chaperone: Could you hand me that phone?

Male student: Uh, that's not a phone. That's an alarm.

Chaperone: An alarm? That's the phone for the room.

Male student: No it's not. That's the alarm that wakes us up.

Chaperone: Ok, then where's the phone?

Male student: In the bathroom.

Chaperone: In the bathroom? I doubt it....but OK...Show me.

The student proceeded to pull the air dryer out and hand it, with cord attached to the teacher.

I guess the "High" setting means long distance.

Yes, world. We are in the trouble.

Coke Rewards up to 253. Keep them codes comin!

Whoever said there is nothing good on TV?

As I sit home and relax from another exciting day at work, I am watching the National Spelling Bee. One of the last two contestants is a young lady from the Jersey Shore. I find it humorous that her sponsor (as well as all of the sponsors) is a newspaper. Actually, it's TWO papers.....both Gannett rags....the Asbury Park Press and the Home News Tribune. Once again the C-N gets screwed.

One of the finalists just spelled Esquisse. Isn't that a magazine? Or a cake? Either way, i couldn't spell that if you gave me the letters.

Hell, I couldn't spell it if you gave me the letters IN ORDER.

"Stench"....noun......language of origin......Tillmanese.

I had a good Memorial Day weekend. Visited Doctor Carino at his abode in Mount Laurel. The man was so drunk that people were getting inebriated just inhaling his sweat particles. It's always good idea to have a school about 400 feet from that man's house. I'm sure the doctor was thrilled when the state legislature's proposed Alcohol Free School Zone was shot down.

I seem to be having difficulty putting pictures up on this lovely site. So if at times it is plain, I apologize....but I'm trying. Although I'm sure the Sandman and Mr. Pendleton are delighted I can't throw tons of pictures of NYA on this site.

Not that I would be able to throw out their uniform numbers, of course.

Coke Rewards up to 200!