Happy Holidays

Every year my mother gets a XMas card from an old friend that includes not only the card but also a HUGE 2 page letter that's written in what looks like 6 point font that wraps up EVERYTHING that individual has done the past year. Here's an example of what it includes:


February 27 -- Had a really great day. Woke up. Went to the bathroom. Got out of bed.



March 10 -- Drove to North Jersey to visit my grandkids. Boy how they've grown. I played peek-a-boo with them. They laughed. I laughed. Then we ate lunch. They are so cute. Blah blah blah obvious crap.....blah blah blah....more obvious crap.

June 2 -- Took a breath today. Really enjoyed the oxygen that I breathed in. Plus, I think I emitted some quality carbon dioxide for the trees around me. My how nature is so beautiful.

Is this a normal thing? Maybe a few lines of what's gone on could be more effective. Maybe answer the following questions:





-- Did anyone die?


-- Was anyone born?


-- Did anyone get married?





and then move on with "Love, Your name"





Fortunately, I won't bore you with a letter and waste paper. Instead, I will waste internet space. As I complete my final blog for the 2007 year, I think back to all of the great and not so great things that I've done over the past 12 months. My Top 7 (because I was too lazy to come up with 10.....and I figure I'm going to get a "Joker....you forgot to name an event" from my mother).....in no particular order:

-- Graduated from Kean with my Masters degree. You know what this means? Now I get a "Dr." in front of my name. That's right....I'm not sure if you knew this but my real name is Feelgood Joker. The secret is out people.

-- Broke a 25 year dry spell and ventured to Disney World with E. It was one of the best trips I have ever been on. Unless you count the time I went to Disney World when I was 5. My family did go on that trip but the fact it involved no Epcot or alcohol gives the 2007 trip the edge.

-- Received my first iPod from E. Nice job by my brother passing along this tip: To get songs for your ipod, go to the local library and borrow some CDs. I was shocked at the titles they had when I walked into my local biblioteca for the first time since I had to do that 3rd grade shoebox report on the state of New Jersey. It was exciting. Trust me.








-- Purchased a Honda Civic this week (and no, it's not the same as the picture....but this is my blog so piss off). The car is blue and works. Two key things I wanted in a car purchase. This is certain to bolster my status as a chick magnet. I may have to change my name to McLovin', Jr.



-- Jumped on the Munchmobile for a seafood ride. Then I was told to get off. The police were involved....it was a mess. But the scallops were damn good!

-- Watched the last episode of the Sopranos. I think after 8 months I finally have come to this conclusion about the ending.





-- Last but not least.....I was able to help plan and contribute to a pancreatic cancer fund raiser this past October. Thanks for all who donated and attended. I can't wait until next year's bigger and better Picnic for Pancan!


That brings me to my final point....





My mother sent me a link about Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Melon University. Dr. Pausch is dying of pancreatic cancer (the same thing my father had). He gave a lecture at CMU that pretty much summed up his life and discussed key life lessons he wanted to pass along to his three young children.



THIS is a true hero. Check out the Lecture of a Lifetime. I watch this video and think about all of the things that life has to offer. I don't want to get sentimental here but watching Dr. Pausch remain positive even in the most dire circumstances is something to admire.




Someone once said, "Everyday is a gift from God." Dr. Pausch is truly living this for as long as he has left.

Enjoy your new year and may all of you have an even better 2008.

Open Letter to Greg Schiano

Dear Greg (can I call you Greg? I mean, you ARE big time. You're more popular in this state than the governor, both of the state's NFL starting quarterbacks...which might not be saying much, and even Joe Pesci but you still have a ways to go before getting past Jon Bongiovi and Bruce...and I'm not talking about Bruce Hornsby),

First of all, I apologize for calling for your head during your dismal first three seasons. Part of it was almost second nature for a young Rutgers fan. It used to be a coaching cycle that went like this:

Step A. Hire New Coach.

Step B. Watch new coach get one star recruit, prompting excitement from hundreds of Rutgers fans all over the country. (Or maybe I meant "hundred")

Step C. Watch newspapers quote players stating the following "It definitely feels different in a good way", "I think this is the year for a bowl", "Our guys are practicing better and there's a better feeling here now", "He's the right man for the job"...blah blah blah)

Step D. Watch star recruit transfer/flunk out of college/flunk out of prep school/flunk out of high school/get into trouble with law/suffer car accident/transfer to legit school with more than 20,000 fans a game/fail to gain Visa to get into country.

Step E. Watch recruiting classes rival that of Buffalo, Central Florida, Apex Tech and Bergen Catholic (ok...maybe they weren't THAT good)

Step F. Fire coach. Go to Step A.

Football, basketball...didn't matter. The steps were the same for arguably the worst program in Division I-A football, which is now known as the FBCBS League or something....I think CBS is paying the NCAA to get those letters in...anything to add to the bowl revenue that makes a mockery of the national championship hunt.

But you proved me wrong. Who cares if you won 11 games in 2006? Just getting OVER .500 was an achievement. Nice job. Even I've criticized you for not winning many great games in your tenure. I have thought about it since then....who would be better for this job? Who can galvanize the state like you have? This was a job NO one wanted. The kid who bounced from foster home to foster home. The doll with one eye. The black and white television set. The car with 250,000 miles on it (which reminds me....does anyone know where I can get a good deal on a Honda Accord?)

Today, you turned down a chance to hang out with Reako and take over one of the more prestigious jobs in the country. (Prestigious....not the oldest jobs....we all know that's the one in Piscataway....which was known as "Piss-cataway" before 2004).

Shocking. But it shows you have some character. Had you left, the state would have been devastated. And it's not just Rutgers people who have jumped on the bandwagon. I've even seen some Seton Hall fans tell me they're into the Scarlet Knights. Seton Hall fans cheering for Rutgers? Almost seems like vegetarians sponsoring the Nathan's Hot Dog Competition.

"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria."

- Bill Murray as Dr. Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters (1984).

Will you bolt as soon as Joe Paterno drops dead during a 30-6 loss to Ohio State in a few years? Many say you will. But I'd like you to prove me wrong again. Just like I was proven wrong when I turned down a Ken Griffey Upper Deck rookie card for $3 back in 1989 (it eventually jumped to $50 and woul dhave been a better investment than that Jerome Williams rookie card that I spent $20 on). OR just like when I said no to that lifetime supply of Propecia as a contestant on Deal or No Deal (yeah, that was a dream....but it felt real at the time).

Thanks for staying at Rutgers. Thanks for giving us something to look forward to when our baseball teams choke in October or November.

Now can you please beat West Virginia?

Once?

I know, I know....beggars can't be choosers.

Best wishes and happy holidays,

The Joker

Oy-siah

Ok, I admit it. I was rooting against the New York Knicks last night.

I joined all 5 other New Jersey Nets fans in this country, hoping the Knicks would fall against the Milwaukee Bucks Friday night. It obviously wasn't to get a beter draft pick....I'm sure the Knicks will give that away for some journeyman guard. But I still was praying....hoping that a loss might be the straw that breaks the camels back. Or in this case, the Isiah's back.





Would that be the loss that finally caused the KING of Clowns in a Suit (thank you Localshill) to get his walking papers? Or would James Dolan see beyond the losses and circus atmosphere and continue to give this man a job? We've lost games, we've lost hair (a LOT of it), we've lost the good professor as a fan, we've lost our minds....what else can we lose before a change is made?




The amazing thing is.....I have a feeling some foolish NBA owner will give him another head coaching job at some point in the future. So what that Tim Donaghy has more credibility in the league than Thomas?



I've learned that teams during downswings tend to not include that as part of their history. If you look here, the seasons after 2001 aren't even listed. Did the Knicks stop playing after 9/11? Maybe the topics for each era (or error) after '01 can be listed like this.






2001-2002: Giving Nets a Boost in NYC Area. 2002-03: We Actually Miss Ewing. 2004: The Brown Year (and we don't mean "Yellow in the front; Brown in the Back" years...or maybe we do). 2005-07: Katrina only the 2nd biggest disaster in the U.S.



I thought about what would happen to other professionals who performed about as well as Isiah Thomas, a 39-59 record (39.7 winning %) in two seasons as head coach and many more losses as GM, at their respective jobs:



Cleaning lady: What if my cleaning lady only showed up 40 % of the time? Could you imagine the stench from the Sandman's bathroom? The Health Department would be called in to evacuate a 10 block radius around my complex. I'd be lying on the streets, begging for food and clothes. "Yes, a 2001 Knicks NBA Champions t-shirt! Thank you Dollar Store!"








Rutgers coach: Actually, prior to the Schiano era, winning 40 % of games might have gotten you a long extension and maybe a stadium named after you. Maybe this is a bad example.

















President of the U.S. -- uh....another bad example.




Quick flicks

• Does anyone care about boxing anymore? After the De la Hoya fight a few months back, it seems like the sport just took a leap off of a cliff and plummeted to its death alongside Tom Glavine's career, the Betamax player, and Eric Mangini's chances of scoring another cameo in the Sopranos movie. The sport is clouded by crooked promoters and there are about 50 current "champions" (I think I ran into one while buying drill bits at ACE Hardware yesterday). Hmmm....almost sounds like the state of New Jersey high school football.

• Rutgers fans are upset over a 7-5 season. I realize expectations were lofty but can we remember where this program was a few years ago? I'll never forget that 0-11 season my senior year....those were the years I was BEGGING to trade places with Syracuse. Not so much anymore.
  
  
  
• Eli Manning was and never will be a big time quarterback. With that stated, there is a chance the Giants will have a chance of winning a Super Bowl....not this season but in the future.....if they work on making the defense the best unit in football. The Baltimore Ravens set a blueprint by winning a title with Trent Dilfer, but the Giants are more likely to make too many draft day mistakes to put 11 outstanding defensive players on the field.

• Only 11 months until the Presidential Election! Will this woman win? I would think not.