Dinner for Three

As I was sitting in my living room with a man whose girlfriend plays for Oakland, watching the heavens pour on Shea Stadium, I pondered the question: What 3 People Would I Love to Have for Dinner?

Now, let's not get carried away. I'm not Hannibal Lecter, so this isn't a Who Would Taste the Best competition....but a dinner where I could converse with 3 individuals for an evening.

These people could be living or dead. Although at the time of the dinner, the dead people would be alive. I'm not looking for this guy but maybe a live version of someone who left the building.

So here are my 3 people and why:

1. My maternal grandfather. When I meet people, I LOVE meeting their parents. Who do they look like? What character traits do they have? The Lovely E looks just like her mom and everytime I see E in a picture with a smile, one would think it was a younger version of her mom. I never met my grandfather and would love to see how he resembles my mom, my siblings and myself. He was an avid photographer....as am I. Just ask my hallmates freshman year when some incriminating videos were hidden in my room.

They weren't hidden very well.....and let's just say there's no better wake up call than "RU POLICE" banging on your door at 8 bells on a Wednesday.

But I move on.

So my gradfather would be number 1....I've heard so much about him and would love to meet the man.

2. Don Mattingly. He was my favorite baseball player as a child and someone I completely idolized. I came very close to meeting him once. My father took my brother and I to a fundraiser/dinner in Newark. Chris Chambliss was there and several other non entities....but no Mattingly. There were RUMORS that he would be there....but no Mattingly. I won't get into the Hall of Fame debate at this point....even I am on the fence. He was one of the greatest defensive 1st basemen of all time and was a very good offensive player in the 80s, but back problems ended his H of F chances (and an awful pitching staff).

3. Jesus. OK...not really. He's just on everyone else's list, so I figure I didn't want to be different. (And that's not Jesus Martinez from Elizabeth). My 3rd person would be Lorne Michaels, Exec. Producer of Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live was the one show I wouldn't miss during my teenage years. I looked forward to 11:30 p.m. on Saturdays like Daniel K. Stern looks forward to the next television camera.

When I was a kid, I told people I was going to be on the show (as a matter of fact, I went for a job interview and when I was asked, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I responded with "Performing on Saturday Night Live."

Needless to say, I didn't get that job.

So much like a radio station in the morning, looking desperately for callers....I pose this to readers of this blog. Who would you invite to dinner?

And would there be a chianti with fava beans?

Must See TV

Last night brought an hour stretch of television that was arguably one of the most riveting in years.

(The following contains Sopranos Plot Spoiler information....but if you haven't watched Sunday night's Sopranos...what the hell is wrong with you???)

I guess the only thing more shocking than Christopher leaving the proverbial building was the way he went. I figured he was going to get knocked off by Paulie...not by Tony. That was possibly one of the better Anti-Drug campaigns I've seen in awhile.

And no, I haven't added Cleaver to my blockbuster.com queue yet.

Then, the show that it seems no one is watching brought one of the more controversial calls. Yes, I'm the clown who still watches Survivor....I can't seem to stop. I'll be attending Survivors Anonymous meetings shortly.

With 6 people left in the game, a 54-year-old Asian guy (Yao-Man), who deserved to win the whole competition, won the truck and offered it to a fellow contestant, a male African-American cheerleader named Dreamz (don't ask). The deal was that Dreamz would have to hand over his immunity necklace -- should he win it -- when the game was down to the Final Four. As luck would have it, Dreamz (a good Christian) won the necklace after and wouldn't give the Asian cat immunity. To make matters worse, Yao-Man got voted off the island. AND he didn't ask for the truck back.

I don't know what's more troubling...the fact he refused to give up the necklace after promosing to God that he'd do it or that I am watching a program that feature a male cheerleader.

Something to think about.

Munchmobile Update: I will be partaking in the seafood expedition on July 28th. It will be in the August 10th edition of the state's largest newspaper. Here's the preview article, complete with a quote on page 3 from yours truly.

I believe it's the first time my complete name ran in this publication since I lost 6-0, 6-0 in first doubles to New Providence (or maybe it was a school for developmentally disabled kids) for A.L. Johnson my senior year.

T-minus 19 days until Local Shill becomes Shackled Shill.

So? (Pranos)

The Sopranos aren't going out with a bang. I don't know what it is about this season, but I can't really get into it like in the past. In this most recent of episodes, Tony has a gambling problem and wants to put Carmela's $6,000 real estate gain on a Jets game. She obviously thinks he's nuts. Not surprisingly, the Jets won the game and Tony is pissed beyond belief.

But how does he find out about the Jets victory? In the newspaper! You're telling me he didn't WATCH the game like most adult males in a 100-mile radius? Can't Tony afford the internet?

OK...I'm nitpicking....but I need someone to get knocked off. My vote...Chris is gone within the next 2 episodes.

For those of you who are huge fans, you have to check out Alan Sepinwall's column on the show. It's tremendous.

While we're on the topic of the largest paper in the state, I have sucken even lower and put myself in the Munchmobile mix. For those who aren't aware of this, the Munchmobile visits various food establishments throughout the state and rate them. I sent the author a shtick-laden email and he said he will be in touch.

My dream of trying borscht in Phillipsburg may finally become a reality!

Nice job by former Roselle product Jesse Holley getting a 3 year contract with the Bengals. He's part of a truly classy family and a really nice guy. I felt bad for him in high school because he had no quarterback to throw him the ball (Holley actually lined up at QB for some reps for the Rams). The problem didn't go away in college, where QB was not a strong spot. Now, he's in a good position with Bengals needing a WR with Chris Henry out for half the season and Cincy not drafting a single WR this season. Good luck.

I started watching ER about 6 years ago. I didn't watch during the George Clooney years because I as my kids would say, "Yo no homo."

The show has gone from interesting to a complete waste of my time. I can't even follow the ridiculous storylines anymore. A doctor getting his arm chopped off by a helicopter? And this week, they CLOSED the ER. OK...that might happen.

You'd have a better chance of having Sunjay lock up the 7-11 for one night.

Breaking Fools

As I sit home from work due to a nagging head cold, I can't help but notice the overuse of the phrase "Breaking News." It seems like every 5 minutes something SUPER important breaks.....like there's still flooding in Manville.....or commercials are coming up.....or Bush is dropping a deuce somewhere in the Green Room.

News programs used to attach this phrase with something that was TRULY fresh news and had meaning, but now the most insignificant thing gets this label. Entertainment Tonight lists things that pop up on its CBS Evening News and The Insider as "breaking."

It's almost like American Idol when Ryan Seacrest throws one of those, "We'll find out who made the Top 7......RIGHT after the break." Don't tease me with this crap. Viewers have enough problems already (like the fact they're watching Entertainment Tonight in the first place), we don't need more stress in our lives.

The only thing that's breaking is my garbage can with all of the used tissues I'm throwing in there today.

Wait....I think I just saw that reported on MSNBC.

The 1990s had Kevin Bacon. I'm starting to think Ben Stiller has taken his torch. The guy seems to be in EVERY comedy that's made. I popped in School for Scoundrels and guess who showed up?

Reason #234 why a time machine would be a bad invention: Ben Stiller replaces Chevy Chase in Fletch. Professor Carino is up in arms......Dr. Rosenpenis is never created.

Mass hysteria.

Tonight marks the final night of my graduate studies. I'm finally handing in the thesis and joining the ranks of the Masters. (Where's my green jacket?)

It's funny.....I don't feel no smarter. And I can't wait until the institution of higher learning that I attend calls to tell me I'm missing 0.5 of a credit and I can't walk.

More mass hysteria.

Hokies Horror

Is there ANY pleasant news anymore?

Following a meeting at work, I logged on to cnn.com and saw the horrors at Virginia Tech. Over 30 people dead. Mass hysteria on campus. That school, like other schools where lives were taken (Columbine, Seton Hall, Kent Place), have never been completely the same.

While I was in Colorado, I went to Columbine in November. I was very impressed with the school and the surrounding area. Kids were playing soccer in an adjacent park and families were together in what seemed like a peaceful setting. But when I drove up to the front of the school, the thoughts of the killings lingered in my mind. I'm sure that will be the case for those students at Virginia Tech. What could drive someone to such measures? In addition to all of the lives lost, the question of security on campuses will definitely come to the foreground. More freedoms will be sacrificed and people will be forever scarred as a result of the mind of a psychotic man.

My condolences to those families who lost loved ones today.

I know it's difficult to transition to this next topic but this was my birthday weekend. I spent it at one of the best birthday parties I have ever had. So what that I knew about 3 % of the people there. So what that it was labeled "The Mosher Wedding?" It was MY BDay dammit! And I'll devour all of the crab legs I wanted. I had an amazing time with E, Sandman, Carino, Dunz and Caitling and various other clowns at the Cescaphe.

I may have to put that wedding in the top 5. Mr. Henn's is up next this weekend. That's going to be a clown show....and THEN some.

I Mess

I couldn't believe the top story on cnn.com earlier today.





Awaiting the BIG news of the day (that's right....the news that the words "Lawrence Birkhead" were the answer to the world famous question "Who's Your Daddy?"), I was fairly shocked to see how this Don Imus/Rutgers story has taken steam.





My impressions of this story:





I realize it's a very controversial issue, but the fact of the matter is it's growing bigger than it should. At this point, Imus' listenership rival David Lee Roth's (and does it matter if it's the David Lee Roth who was on 92.3 FM a year ago or the David Lee Roth now who might be calling his friend on a prepaid cell phone somewhere in Oxnard, California?). The guy is pretty much irrelevant.





Don Imus is a clown.....always was and always will be. I would turn him on the radio and almost vomit with that annoying voice and boring one-liners. The only funny thing on that show was the immitations that were thrown out there. Don Imus could put an ADHD kid to sleep.

But the big question....should he be fired? My response: absolutely not. The guy made a comment that was completely irresponsible. Yes, we've all made inappropriate comments (granted it wasn't in front of a microphone with tens and tens of listeners tuning in)....Michael Richards did it....the Rev. Jesse Jackson did it. Imus apologized for his actions, and I believe he's sincere. He's doing everything possible to atone for his actions. For those people who have a problem with his radio show....just turn the dial. I've walked the streets (because you know I'm deep in the hood, yo.....oh shoot, I think I hear the Rev. Al knocking on my door...I smell a blue jumpsuit) and heard comments as bad if not worse than Imus used last week.

Bonehead move....visiting Rev. Al's radio show to apologize. That's akin to wearing an "F the Yankees" shirt during a Boston/NY(A) playoff game in the middle of the Bronx.

One final thought....who knew Rev. Al even HAD a radio show? Can this even be heard anywhere in the tri-state area? Or was he given a microphone and told to speak even though there's no radio signal. Kinda like when you were 5 years old and given a camera with no film and told to take pictures.

Yes, I had a tough childhood.

Another effect from this story could be a higher asking price for C. Vivian Stringer. She conducted herself with such professionalism and class on a national stage at the press conference today. I'm sure other universities are watching what happens with this very carefully and the phone calls will be going out to Bobby Mulcahy very shortly. Should Rutgers pay her $1,000,000 a year? On one side, she's the top coach at the school but on another, it's STILL women's basketball and she has yet to win a national title in a dozen years. If I were Mulcahy, I'd probably open the wallet.

I tried to watch Thank God You're Here on NBC last night. It felt like I was getting kicked in the groin...over and over again. After all the build up, I felt like Fox was bringing back Joe Millionaire starring Ted McGinley or something. And is it me, or does that one chick have the "Stifler's Mom" label stuck to her for the rest of her life or not?


Just when 24 seemed like it would have a subpar season, that show just proves why it's the best program on TV. If you haven't started watching it....get season 1 on DVD and start the viewing. It's only going to take you 5 months to catch up.

So the thesis is done....I just have to get it bound. But now wedding season starts. 3 weddings in about 6 weeks. Anyone know if bodily fluids can be sold for cash? Because I know someone wants to get their hands on MY genetics.

Thesised Out

My apologizes for a pseudoposting here (like many of my posts aren't pseudo to begin with...)

However, I may be on hiatus for the next few weeks. Between finishing my thesis that's due the end of the month, looking for a roommate (and if anyone has a suggestion, please let me know), the NCAA Tourney, and my job I can't seem to find a free moment for much relaxation these days.

I can't imagine having kids.

Other than the NCAA tourney prediction (And unlike everyone else I am NOT jumping on the Winthrop bandwagon....it's hard for me to pull for a team that was named after Dan Aykroyd's character in Trading Places), I may be silenced for a while.

Please....no applause.

Happy Purim.

Separated at Birth

Is it me or does Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban (left) look like Anna Nicole Smith's ex-parasite Howard K. Stern (below)?



















If Cuban wasn't worth a billion dollars, do you think he'd throw his name in the bidding for custody of Anna Nicole's daughter?

OSCARS

Despite the fact that I haven't seen most of the movies up for an Oscar, I feel that with my Blockbuster.com subscription, I am more than qualified to make my own Oscar picks.




Best Picture: The Departed. Although Babel is getting all of the attention right now, I could barely make it through the trailer. The Departed kept me interested from start to finish...much like Crash last year. When everyone was picking Brokeback Mountain to win, I went with Crash. Not that it got me anywhere further in life....

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker (The Last King in Scotland). Didn't see this movie, but he was very good in ER. Plus, I always felt bad for the guy with that eye problem he has. I did see the Will Smith movie (and he was very believable in that flick), but it's hard to give it to someone whose most memorable work revolves being the Fresh Price of Bel Air with this kid. Hey....is that Mosher?

Best Actress: Helen Mirren (The Queen). She's mentioned by EVERY publication to win this award. It's almost like if I took on Shaquille O'Neal in a game of hoops. Totally overmatched.

Heck, it's almost like if I took on anyone over the age of 13 in a game of hoops. (Or under the age of 13 for that matter)

Best Foreign Language Film: Pan's Labyrinth. Muy bien! Es una pelicula que tiene....ah, I knew i should have paid attention more in spanish class. Stephen King loved this movie. I KNOW I'm getting this one right.

Antonella's No Idol

For those of you who think Antonella Barba is going to go far in American Idol...

Think again

I'm number one!

I had a belated Valentine's Day this week when E and I went to a restaurant in philadelphia called Buddakan. Everyone I spoke to about this place called it "trendy" and the description couldn't have been any more dead on. The food was unreal. The highlight was a desert called Chocolate Pagoda, which means "Legalized Crack" in Buddist or something.

I'm still shaking.

Shea a Goner

Two things I learned from this story.

1) Herm Edwards doesn't watch the Super Bowl? I mean, it's not the biggest game in the country or anything. He doesn't plan on watching the game until he's in it.

I guess you can cross that game off his viewing itinerary for the rest of his life.

2) Is Terry Shea the most fired man in the history of sports? He's been dropped more than a Rex Grossman football. And to be replace by a cat with THAT name? Dick Curl? Come on now.

Good news for Terry. I hear Somerville is looking for a coach.

An assistant coach.

Todd A No More

No large post today....I just wanted to let all the fine readers of "And What Can I Tell You" know that I will no longer be known as Todd A.

After reading the tale of the guy who changed his name to Peyton Manning following the Bears' loss in the Super Bowl, I opted to follow suit.

From now on, I will be known as The Joker.

(Fortunately, I did not have to pay court fees for this change)

While this post can't hold a jock to JP's 10 Most Overrated Bands or anything The Sandman posts, I felt it was necessary.

Editor's note: I may also be called The Educator Formerly Known as Todd A or the Male Symbol only in the color blue (I figure if Prince isn't using it, why not ride his coattails?)

Feel free to continue with your day.

Deep Thoughts.....by Todd A

A few things that popped into my dome piece:


You think Al Gore might have some trouble convincing the fine people of Redfield, New York about the Greenhut Effect?



A new study shows that the scent of male sweat can increase arousal senses in women.
Hmm.....I'm guessing my gym bag wouldn't qualify as a good Valentine's gift. I can just imagine E's reaction to that one. (Some of the things in the bag can practically walk by themselves)

Brilliant idea of the day....one of my students suggested the military should give lie detector tests to every people in Iraq and kill anyone who isn't telling the truth.

He also said "Police Academy 8: Crullers 'N Night Sticks" might be a good idea for a flick.

Are the weather people EVER right? I feel like you have to subtract 2-4 inches from any prognostication they make. Except if you live in Redfield, of course.

Researchers at the University of Calgary said monkeys may have used stone hammers as long as 4,300 years ago. Is this news? I'm thrilled monkeys knew how to bust nuts even back them, but I want to know.....how does this get us one step closer to finding the cure for cancer?

Man, I was HOPING "educator" would make this list. I guess if I can't pronounce the actual job, I wouldn't be in the running here.

Finally, if you are a fan of Star Wars (or even if you're not), check this out. Thanks to Rog2k+7 for this one.

Here comes some BAYSBOL!!!!

Less than one week until pitchers and catchers report!

This is exciting news, but there's still another 2 months until the fantasy season kicks off. TWO whole months where I am forced to actually do something productive with my life. And my thesis has given me plenty on which I can focus for the next 2 months.

Thank you to my friend JBechtMd for this clip.

Some other interesting websites I came across today...

-- When your bank says no....other banks will probably say no too. Now there's a loan site that's almost like ebay. Prosper allows people to receive loans or lend money for loans. Don't ask me why but I found this to be highly interesting. If I decide to lend money and they don't pay me back, I'm sure it won't be any different than the dozen or so kids at work who ask me for "lunch money" and never repay it on a regular basis.

-- Bents passed along these two sites: the first offers coupons to restaurants at a discount. This one throws out offers for good deals. I'm waiting for a free million dollars to pop up.

Why do I need to worry about money? I figure I'm throwing my hat in the "I Impregnated Ann Nicole Smith" ring. Everyone else is doing it, right? Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband? Are you kidding me? You KNOW that diaper-wearing astronaut is thanking her lucky stars that Anna Nicole left the building this week. It's nice to have the attention moved away from you, right Lisa? Just ask Gary Condit. As awful as this sounds, 9/11 was the perfect distraction for that guy. He went from being on the cover of Enquirer, Star, Weekly World News (or every publication my mom has a subscription to and believes is real) to falling out of the public consciousness. Has that guy even been arrested yet?

Zsa Zsa.....wasn't she the "Cuchi Cuchi" chick? No wait....that was Charo.

Same difference.

The Greatest Day of the Year

One thing I have learned about "The Big Game" (I don't want the NFL suing me for copyright infringement and taking away all $30 I have in my bank account), there's always a big surprise in store.

I don't think I have accurately picked a Super Bowl winner since the Reagan administration. So, when the Colts and Bears take to the field today, I probably will screw this one up, too.

Some quick thoughts/predictions about today:

-- The Bears defense isn't the same unit it was during the first half of the regular season. I think Manning will pick apart that Bears D.

-- The NFC sucks.

-- That Kevin Federline commercial is already old.

-- I will feel the need to buy a domain on GoDaddy.com.

-- Prince's nipples will remain covered to the delight of 90 million onlookers.

-- Joe Pendleton will break 24 hours of sobriety by having a frosty beverage.

-- Someone will mention the need to make Monday a national holiday.

-- A Bengal will be arrested.

With all of that said, I like the Colts to win and win big.....but since I'm never right, I need to go against myself and go with Bears +7. Colts 24-20.

Then again, I haven't been right in years....so what do I know?

After this game, it's a LONG 2 months until first pitch. Nothing like a thesis to keep me occupied.

For those with a Jewish background (and just because some of you like matzah with butter or sales at the mall, doesn't make you Jewish), check out this video that a friend of mine at UPenn sent me.

AmeriGAY Idol

For those of you who are regular readers to my blog, you know I am a huge fan of BAD reality television. Yes, I am sucked in by American Idol.

Last night's episode had one of the most ridiculous auditions ever. I found this to be extremely humorous. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy to be playing up a guy/girl/Pat that is a total publicity whore....but I couldn't help but nearly piss myself around 8 bells last eve.

My early Super Bowl prediction. Me = - $400 in lost betting money

Manning....good or great?

On the eve of the big AFC Championship game, many people are wondering if Peyton Manning will ever make it to the big game.

Manning has put up Hall of Fame numbers (NFL record 3,000+ yards since his rookie season in 1998) and has been an ironman at his position, starting every game since he came into the league 9 seasons ago. With all of his credentials but no Super Bowl appearances (and no college national titles...or, and with apologies to Jersey Girl, just like Troy Smith, no victories over U. Florida), should Manning not be considered among the elite of all time?

I feel that championships can be somewhat overrated. I'm sure what I just said has some people pissed off and ripping me (not the first time I'm sure)....but hear me out.

John Elway went most of his career without a crown but once he had Terrell Davis in the backfield (arguably the best RB in the league) to help him win the title, he was put in a different stratosphere. And I'm not just talking about from a commercial standpoint....although it seems as though he's attached his name everything from beer to car dealarships to jock straps in the Denver area. What if he had no support his entire career? He'd still be a great player and would have made the Hall of Fame but would he still have been the deity Coloradians have praised for years?

Put Tom Glavine on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for his entire career. Is he even considered as a Hall of Famer? If Derek Jeter is the shortstop for the Tigers with no supporting cast in the previous decade, are we putting him on his pedestal? Look at Brett Favre recently.....he's looked at as one of the best QBs ever yet hasn't made the playoffs the past two seasons with a questionable supporting cast.

I realize we're dealing strictly with theoreticals because these guys all played on the greatest stages in their sport at one time and managed to perform well under pressure, but the people around them is definitely critical.

I remember Michael Kay discussing how important Randy Johnson was to the Yankees rotation this past season and that they'll have a tough time replacing his 17 wins. Even though Johnson had an ERA over 5.00, Kay said he "pitched to the score." So, if the Yanks were up 8 runs, he'd give up 6 runs but still hold off the opponent to earn the "W". I don't really buy into that idea and feel wins are an overrated stat. Then again, my baseball career ended when I got nailed in the wedding tackle with a baseball as a Little League catcher many years ago....I'm convinced that, and not cigarettes, stunted my growth......so what do I know?

Congrats to Cal Ripken and Anthony Gwynn for their H of F selections (yeah...like they're going to even read this). For those of you looking forward to future potential Hall of Fame selections in baseball....here's what's on tap:

2008: David Justice, Robb Nen, Tim Raines (Nen...who might have considered changing his name to Bob to make the all-palendrome squad)

2009: Mark Grace, Rickey Henderson, Matt Williams (Can you imagine the number of "I"s in Henderson's speech? That kid has 3 favorite people in his life...Ricky, Mr. Henderson, and R. Henderson. Why do I have a feeling he'll be attempting a comeback again this season?)

2010: Roberto Alomar, Andres Galarraga, Barry Larkin, Edgar Martinez, Fred McGriff (Figure Alomar and Edgar to make it...I wonder if fans will hock a loogie on Alomar's bust)

2011: John Franco, Juan Gonzalez, Rafael Palmeiro, Larry Walker, Sammy Sosa (Is baseball going to have to create its own Roid Wing for some of these cats?)

I went 4-0 last weekend. Gotta go with Pats (+3) and the Saints (+2.5) this weekend. The Bears defense hasn't been good for weeks now. Losing Tommy Harris and Mike Brown were big for that unit.

How can you go against Tom Brady in ANY playoff game? I wonder if he used the same broker Michael Jordan did when he sold his soul to the devil....

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Forwarded chain mail can be a pain in the arse.

I have determined that 99 % of the crap that is sent to me or posted is a waste of my time. Sometimes, you do run into quality shtick.

For example, Jersey Girl posted this to her blog and I've watched it about 20 times (and laughed every time)

About 6 years ago, I received this from a friend and spend a whole weekend pissing myself. Make sure you have the sound turned up. (And if you're starting a karoke of this and DESPERATELY need the lyrics...)

My LCP (Lock City Picks) of the weekend. It's ALL dogs.

Eagles (+5), Seahawks (+9), and Pats (whatever the line is). I like the Colts (+3.5), too....but the game is midway through the 1st quarter while I typed this, so I don't want to get ripped for picking a game midway through.

Happy New Year....and Happy Groundhog's Day, too

Someone wished me a Happy New Year yesterday. That's 10 days after the actual event. Is this the norm? I mean, I understand things in the world are a little out of whack with the whole greenhouse effect causing 70 degree weather....but 10 days?

Punxsutawney Phil and Auld Lang Syne don't mix, people.

Some things that came through my mind recently....

-- When the summer hits, there's always a "Christmas in July" celebration somewhere. How come there are no "July 4th in December" parties?

-- Is George Bush really THIS stupid? Sending more troops to Iraq is akin to dropping a batch on the hood of a police car with the officer IN the vehicle and then eating a Taco Bell value meal and, well.....you get the picture. I think.

-- This just in. Barry Bonds says he's not black. He actually borrowed some skin from Moises Alou and didn't realize it was that color. He's actually Indian and is moving to Iselin.

-- If Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, it ain't in Diaz's neighborhood. When is this guy going to pull a Lance Bass and come out of the closet? (I'm sure that's not going to earn me brownie points from the girlfriend).

And isn't he on Minute 15 yet?

I went to the Rutgers/Syracuse game last night and it was one of the most boring tilts I had ever watched. This has to be one of the worst teams I've seen in the Scarlet and White....the offense was woeful....it doesn't help that the entire scoring attack has set up shop on a bench somewhere in Sacramento.

Watching the game from the next to last row at the RAC was a new experience for me. Even though I have been to dozens of games there, I had never been so high that I was fearful of planes nailing me. The last time I was that high at a sporting event was a rainy Jets/Pats game with Mr. Sandman.

High with Mr. Sandman. Well, that's kind of redundant.

I just want to wish Jersey Girl the best with her "procedure". We are scheduled for a group outing and although I have a feeling her drugged up arse will still show up, she will be greatly missed with the many clowns, shills, and yahoos in attendance.

My Coke Rewards up to 2003. Off I go to fire out expletives while watching Seton Hall beat the piss out of St. John's. Oh, so painful.

Blogging About Blogging

Whenever I head to aol.com to check my email (or many times in my case, thousands of messages to increase penis size...no comments, please), there's always some pretty interesting story popping up at the top of the site. Whether it's some top 10 list or story about home prices dropping (I think my place went from being a small fortune to being worth about a 6-pack of Nattie Light), I always feel the need to click and check out all the "important" news items out there.





This morning, there was this story about Jessica Cutler. Cutler was a staff assistant in Washington, who made her sexual exploits with various Capitol Hill powerbrokers public on her blogs. Now, the case is going to court.





It's absurd this is even considered as a case. She kept the names out her blog and has the right to write or speak as she pleases. Robert Steinbuch, one of several men with whom she played "Hide the Bacon", found the wrong woman to trust and is paying the price. Too bad.





Nice job by Jason Taylor. The guy is right on here. There should be a rule in the NFL to prevent someone from winning such an award after a failed drug test. As a pro athlete you should know EVERYTHING that goes into your system. No "I didn't know what the ingredients were" excuses anymore.





And the same should apply for holding a high office in this country. Use drugs, no presidency. Sounds like a good idea. I'm sure about 2,800 families of soldiers who lost their lives in Iraq would have had a much happier holiday season.

With the passing of Gerald Ford, I remember back to this skit from Sat. Night Live and one of my all-time heroes....Dana Carvey....doing a little Brokaw. Enjoy Robert Smigel, the creator of Triumph, the Comic Insult Dog and numerous other hilarious bits, with the background voiceover. Thanks to Frey for finding this.

Cheer up Caroll Gymnastics....3 more months till the cruise!

Greatest Moments of the Year

The year is coming to a close and overall, it was a joyous year...ranking somewhere near the top middle probably between 1983 when I received my first He-Man figure and 1984 (something about the Summer Olympics in the U.S. got me excited that year....maybe the whole George Orwell theme thing put that near the top of the list). As I sit home with a cold that has me stuck in bed, what better way to recap the year than the top things that happened to me in 2006 (like any of you really care):

Here are my top moments of 2006.

10. Angles at Yankees, August 14th.
I headed into the city with Joe Pendleton to catch this game. This one started off on a downnote with our train out of Metropark over an hour late. As we comtemplated just heading back to a bar or my place to watch the game, the train showed up and we were on our way. One of the thoughts that came through our minds was the family of four standing next to us who probably were throwing down about $200 on tickets, transporation, food, etc. Lunacy for a baseball game. Thank God for free tickets. We met up with Jorg and another cat at the game. The much maligned ARod got a sac fly to push the Yanks ahead 3-2 and help Randy Johnson win his 13th by a 7-2 final. The Big Unit also fanned Tim Salmon for his 4,500th K of his career. Was it the game that was exciting or watching Tim Salmon's final appearance at Yankee Stadium that did it for me? Maybe it was the 13 Coke lids I was able to accumulate towards my current total of 1,775 points.

9. Carino Memorial Day Shindig, May 28th.

I've been to Memorial Day parties before. It's the run-of-the-mill sit outside and drink type of deal. This party went beyond that. There was a good showing from the journalist crowd including the Sandman and that always makes it enjoyable. However, I don't think I have ever seen a certain Italian journalist as intoxicated as I did at his own party. Looking at his Dontrelle Willis-like state, I think the man would have cleaned out liquor stores in some small European countries. The highlight came when he was spotted urinating on his OWN lawn. I don't think it was a good idea to take a child's toy and jam his arse with it around 8 bells. He proceded to chase me around the yard for about 20 minutes. About 10 years and 90 lbs again, he would have had me...easily. But I was able to elude him and depart with 9 coke lids and my spleen intact.

8. Dr. Nazz's Bachelor Party in Vegas, June 22-24.
A trip to Vegas HAS to be in the top 5, right? I had a great time, but the only thing that's keeping it out of the elite moments was the fact I had to depart early and miss the REAL "festivities." Some highlights: running into boxer Winky Wright in the Mandalay Bay and Alan Thicke in the rumjungle night club and doing shtick in a cabana outside the pool at the Mandalay Bay.

7. Lifer/Staff Softball Game, July 14th.
The first of hopefully many softball games between the more and less experienced staff members at my summer camp was a resounding success. Between the pre-game build up to the jerseys created by Eric Program and associates, this was going to be a game for the ages (or in many of our cases, the aged).

The game was under the lights in Somerville and only the forecast of rain would be the only downside to one of the greatest nights in my softball life (then again, how many times have I played night softball in my life.....1? 2?). With the bases loaded, I stepped up and lined a shot to right field that rolled past the rightfielder. I was able to leg it out to a triple and eliminate past ghosts of Little League. Those were the days when I would try and crouch as low as I could to get a base on balls. I don't look at it as being fearful of the pitcher at 11 years old, but rather being a headsy leadoff hitter......too bad I was hitting 9th in the lineup. We won the camp game 21-2 and I'd like to think my hit was the one that opened it up for us. I'd also like to think I have a shot at People Magazine's Sexiest Men Alive of 2007 but I don't want to get too carried away.

6. Colorado Trip with E, November 3rd-5th.

My girlfriend and I went West to see the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. VFR. Another short trip but a good time was had by all. Between the wedding and walking/shopping in Denver, I had a chance to spend time with E...something I don't get to do much with her a state away. We also went to Columbine High School and revisted one of the most tragic events in our nation's history.

5. First Anniversary Outing, August 20th.
Although the anniversary wasn't until the 21st, I went to the city the weekend prior to the date with my girlfriend went to have lunch at Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's (something I was really excited about) and watch the off-broadway show Stomp (something I wasn't AS excited about). To make this short and sweet, the lunch sucked but the show was awesome. I had a great time in, as Local Shill would say, the "filthy city," and I think the girlfriend enjoyed herself too.

4. Saints at Steelers trip, November 11-12th.
There are few things in life more difficult to aquire than Steelers tickets at a low price. Every May, the Steelers hold a lottery and give out some extra tickets to some of their home games. I wanted to give the tickets to my brother as an early birthday gift (REALLY early....his bday is in January). Figuring I had a shot at some of the more meaningless games, I threw a $220 check into the envelope and went after the Saints and Bucs games. To quote Rutgers radio announcer Bruce Johnson, I was "waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting...."

3. Valentine's Day, Feburary 14th.
When I ranked holidays as a kid and young adult, this one ranked at or near the bottom (right around Yom Kippur and Christmas.....the latter for obvious reasons....for those who weren't aware the "A" is a very jewish last name)
This past one was a different story. I LOVE surprising people and I got to shock the girlfriend in a large way. Complete with a delivery of roses and an evening drive south to Delaware, I waltzed into the girlfriend's apartment complex and surprised her beyond belief. Red face...big smile....one of my best arrangements in history. And a big thank you goes out to JDogg for helping set the thing up.
We went to a restaurant in Wilmington called Deep Blue. Despite almost burning my tongue off with a Chipolte Shrimp appetizer, the food was very delicious. Overall, a very enjoyable evening and definitely worth the trip.

2. Rutgers football defeats Louisville, November 9th.
I went to Rutgers during four of the darkest years in its sports history. The football team had more to laugh about than the comics at the nearby Stress Factory. I had never experienced an atmosphere quite like the Louisville game. Ran into some of some old acquiantances and got to see a 28-25 RU victory that ranks as arguably the best win since the fencing team won a co-national championship over 50 years ago (yeah, that's a close one).

1. My Surprise BDay Party, April 14th.
Although the organizers told me it was a party for my then-2-year-old Nephew, I admit, I had an inkling something was up. Maybe it was the comments made by my family during breakfast where they asked my girlfriend if she was "going to Todd A's birthday party" later that day. Or the weird way my brother ushered me into the house. Either way, I had a great time. It's not so much the surprise element as the people who actually attended. Joe Pendleton and Mrs. Pendleton, Local Shill, plenty of my camp cronies including the girlfriend, and F Squad.

Honorable mention: Cavs at Nets tilt with No 1 Dooshbag, Local and future Mrs. Shill engagement party, Dinner at Ruths Chris with the girlfriend, Multitude of weddings that I don't want to single out for fear of pissing off some people, Yankees tilt with Yorg and Joe Pendleton, Counting Crows with the Billaz, Live Concert with my brother.

Here's to a great 2007!