Thesised Out

My apologizes for a pseudoposting here (like many of my posts aren't pseudo to begin with...)

However, I may be on hiatus for the next few weeks. Between finishing my thesis that's due the end of the month, looking for a roommate (and if anyone has a suggestion, please let me know), the NCAA Tourney, and my job I can't seem to find a free moment for much relaxation these days.

I can't imagine having kids.

Other than the NCAA tourney prediction (And unlike everyone else I am NOT jumping on the Winthrop bandwagon....it's hard for me to pull for a team that was named after Dan Aykroyd's character in Trading Places), I may be silenced for a while.

Please....no applause.

Happy Purim.

Separated at Birth

Is it me or does Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban (left) look like Anna Nicole Smith's ex-parasite Howard K. Stern (below)?



















If Cuban wasn't worth a billion dollars, do you think he'd throw his name in the bidding for custody of Anna Nicole's daughter?

OSCARS

Despite the fact that I haven't seen most of the movies up for an Oscar, I feel that with my Blockbuster.com subscription, I am more than qualified to make my own Oscar picks.




Best Picture: The Departed. Although Babel is getting all of the attention right now, I could barely make it through the trailer. The Departed kept me interested from start to finish...much like Crash last year. When everyone was picking Brokeback Mountain to win, I went with Crash. Not that it got me anywhere further in life....

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker (The Last King in Scotland). Didn't see this movie, but he was very good in ER. Plus, I always felt bad for the guy with that eye problem he has. I did see the Will Smith movie (and he was very believable in that flick), but it's hard to give it to someone whose most memorable work revolves being the Fresh Price of Bel Air with this kid. Hey....is that Mosher?

Best Actress: Helen Mirren (The Queen). She's mentioned by EVERY publication to win this award. It's almost like if I took on Shaquille O'Neal in a game of hoops. Totally overmatched.

Heck, it's almost like if I took on anyone over the age of 13 in a game of hoops. (Or under the age of 13 for that matter)

Best Foreign Language Film: Pan's Labyrinth. Muy bien! Es una pelicula que tiene....ah, I knew i should have paid attention more in spanish class. Stephen King loved this movie. I KNOW I'm getting this one right.

Antonella's No Idol

For those of you who think Antonella Barba is going to go far in American Idol...

Think again

I'm number one!

I had a belated Valentine's Day this week when E and I went to a restaurant in philadelphia called Buddakan. Everyone I spoke to about this place called it "trendy" and the description couldn't have been any more dead on. The food was unreal. The highlight was a desert called Chocolate Pagoda, which means "Legalized Crack" in Buddist or something.

I'm still shaking.

Shea a Goner

Two things I learned from this story.

1) Herm Edwards doesn't watch the Super Bowl? I mean, it's not the biggest game in the country or anything. He doesn't plan on watching the game until he's in it.

I guess you can cross that game off his viewing itinerary for the rest of his life.

2) Is Terry Shea the most fired man in the history of sports? He's been dropped more than a Rex Grossman football. And to be replace by a cat with THAT name? Dick Curl? Come on now.

Good news for Terry. I hear Somerville is looking for a coach.

An assistant coach.

Todd A No More

No large post today....I just wanted to let all the fine readers of "And What Can I Tell You" know that I will no longer be known as Todd A.

After reading the tale of the guy who changed his name to Peyton Manning following the Bears' loss in the Super Bowl, I opted to follow suit.

From now on, I will be known as The Joker.

(Fortunately, I did not have to pay court fees for this change)

While this post can't hold a jock to JP's 10 Most Overrated Bands or anything The Sandman posts, I felt it was necessary.

Editor's note: I may also be called The Educator Formerly Known as Todd A or the Male Symbol only in the color blue (I figure if Prince isn't using it, why not ride his coattails?)

Feel free to continue with your day.

Deep Thoughts.....by Todd A

A few things that popped into my dome piece:


You think Al Gore might have some trouble convincing the fine people of Redfield, New York about the Greenhut Effect?



A new study shows that the scent of male sweat can increase arousal senses in women.
Hmm.....I'm guessing my gym bag wouldn't qualify as a good Valentine's gift. I can just imagine E's reaction to that one. (Some of the things in the bag can practically walk by themselves)

Brilliant idea of the day....one of my students suggested the military should give lie detector tests to every people in Iraq and kill anyone who isn't telling the truth.

He also said "Police Academy 8: Crullers 'N Night Sticks" might be a good idea for a flick.

Are the weather people EVER right? I feel like you have to subtract 2-4 inches from any prognostication they make. Except if you live in Redfield, of course.

Researchers at the University of Calgary said monkeys may have used stone hammers as long as 4,300 years ago. Is this news? I'm thrilled monkeys knew how to bust nuts even back them, but I want to know.....how does this get us one step closer to finding the cure for cancer?

Man, I was HOPING "educator" would make this list. I guess if I can't pronounce the actual job, I wouldn't be in the running here.

Finally, if you are a fan of Star Wars (or even if you're not), check this out. Thanks to Rog2k+7 for this one.

Here comes some BAYSBOL!!!!

Less than one week until pitchers and catchers report!

This is exciting news, but there's still another 2 months until the fantasy season kicks off. TWO whole months where I am forced to actually do something productive with my life. And my thesis has given me plenty on which I can focus for the next 2 months.

Thank you to my friend JBechtMd for this clip.

Some other interesting websites I came across today...

-- When your bank says no....other banks will probably say no too. Now there's a loan site that's almost like ebay. Prosper allows people to receive loans or lend money for loans. Don't ask me why but I found this to be highly interesting. If I decide to lend money and they don't pay me back, I'm sure it won't be any different than the dozen or so kids at work who ask me for "lunch money" and never repay it on a regular basis.

-- Bents passed along these two sites: the first offers coupons to restaurants at a discount. This one throws out offers for good deals. I'm waiting for a free million dollars to pop up.

Why do I need to worry about money? I figure I'm throwing my hat in the "I Impregnated Ann Nicole Smith" ring. Everyone else is doing it, right? Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband? Are you kidding me? You KNOW that diaper-wearing astronaut is thanking her lucky stars that Anna Nicole left the building this week. It's nice to have the attention moved away from you, right Lisa? Just ask Gary Condit. As awful as this sounds, 9/11 was the perfect distraction for that guy. He went from being on the cover of Enquirer, Star, Weekly World News (or every publication my mom has a subscription to and believes is real) to falling out of the public consciousness. Has that guy even been arrested yet?

Zsa Zsa.....wasn't she the "Cuchi Cuchi" chick? No wait....that was Charo.

Same difference.

The Greatest Day of the Year

One thing I have learned about "The Big Game" (I don't want the NFL suing me for copyright infringement and taking away all $30 I have in my bank account), there's always a big surprise in store.

I don't think I have accurately picked a Super Bowl winner since the Reagan administration. So, when the Colts and Bears take to the field today, I probably will screw this one up, too.

Some quick thoughts/predictions about today:

-- The Bears defense isn't the same unit it was during the first half of the regular season. I think Manning will pick apart that Bears D.

-- The NFC sucks.

-- That Kevin Federline commercial is already old.

-- I will feel the need to buy a domain on GoDaddy.com.

-- Prince's nipples will remain covered to the delight of 90 million onlookers.

-- Joe Pendleton will break 24 hours of sobriety by having a frosty beverage.

-- Someone will mention the need to make Monday a national holiday.

-- A Bengal will be arrested.

With all of that said, I like the Colts to win and win big.....but since I'm never right, I need to go against myself and go with Bears +7. Colts 24-20.

Then again, I haven't been right in years....so what do I know?

After this game, it's a LONG 2 months until first pitch. Nothing like a thesis to keep me occupied.

For those with a Jewish background (and just because some of you like matzah with butter or sales at the mall, doesn't make you Jewish), check out this video that a friend of mine at UPenn sent me.

AmeriGAY Idol

For those of you who are regular readers to my blog, you know I am a huge fan of BAD reality television. Yes, I am sucked in by American Idol.

Last night's episode had one of the most ridiculous auditions ever. I found this to be extremely humorous. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy to be playing up a guy/girl/Pat that is a total publicity whore....but I couldn't help but nearly piss myself around 8 bells last eve.

My early Super Bowl prediction. Me = - $400 in lost betting money

Manning....good or great?

On the eve of the big AFC Championship game, many people are wondering if Peyton Manning will ever make it to the big game.

Manning has put up Hall of Fame numbers (NFL record 3,000+ yards since his rookie season in 1998) and has been an ironman at his position, starting every game since he came into the league 9 seasons ago. With all of his credentials but no Super Bowl appearances (and no college national titles...or, and with apologies to Jersey Girl, just like Troy Smith, no victories over U. Florida), should Manning not be considered among the elite of all time?

I feel that championships can be somewhat overrated. I'm sure what I just said has some people pissed off and ripping me (not the first time I'm sure)....but hear me out.

John Elway went most of his career without a crown but once he had Terrell Davis in the backfield (arguably the best RB in the league) to help him win the title, he was put in a different stratosphere. And I'm not just talking about from a commercial standpoint....although it seems as though he's attached his name everything from beer to car dealarships to jock straps in the Denver area. What if he had no support his entire career? He'd still be a great player and would have made the Hall of Fame but would he still have been the deity Coloradians have praised for years?

Put Tom Glavine on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for his entire career. Is he even considered as a Hall of Famer? If Derek Jeter is the shortstop for the Tigers with no supporting cast in the previous decade, are we putting him on his pedestal? Look at Brett Favre recently.....he's looked at as one of the best QBs ever yet hasn't made the playoffs the past two seasons with a questionable supporting cast.

I realize we're dealing strictly with theoreticals because these guys all played on the greatest stages in their sport at one time and managed to perform well under pressure, but the people around them is definitely critical.

I remember Michael Kay discussing how important Randy Johnson was to the Yankees rotation this past season and that they'll have a tough time replacing his 17 wins. Even though Johnson had an ERA over 5.00, Kay said he "pitched to the score." So, if the Yanks were up 8 runs, he'd give up 6 runs but still hold off the opponent to earn the "W". I don't really buy into that idea and feel wins are an overrated stat. Then again, my baseball career ended when I got nailed in the wedding tackle with a baseball as a Little League catcher many years ago....I'm convinced that, and not cigarettes, stunted my growth......so what do I know?

Congrats to Cal Ripken and Anthony Gwynn for their H of F selections (yeah...like they're going to even read this). For those of you looking forward to future potential Hall of Fame selections in baseball....here's what's on tap:

2008: David Justice, Robb Nen, Tim Raines (Nen...who might have considered changing his name to Bob to make the all-palendrome squad)

2009: Mark Grace, Rickey Henderson, Matt Williams (Can you imagine the number of "I"s in Henderson's speech? That kid has 3 favorite people in his life...Ricky, Mr. Henderson, and R. Henderson. Why do I have a feeling he'll be attempting a comeback again this season?)

2010: Roberto Alomar, Andres Galarraga, Barry Larkin, Edgar Martinez, Fred McGriff (Figure Alomar and Edgar to make it...I wonder if fans will hock a loogie on Alomar's bust)

2011: John Franco, Juan Gonzalez, Rafael Palmeiro, Larry Walker, Sammy Sosa (Is baseball going to have to create its own Roid Wing for some of these cats?)

I went 4-0 last weekend. Gotta go with Pats (+3) and the Saints (+2.5) this weekend. The Bears defense hasn't been good for weeks now. Losing Tommy Harris and Mike Brown were big for that unit.

How can you go against Tom Brady in ANY playoff game? I wonder if he used the same broker Michael Jordan did when he sold his soul to the devil....

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Forwarded chain mail can be a pain in the arse.

I have determined that 99 % of the crap that is sent to me or posted is a waste of my time. Sometimes, you do run into quality shtick.

For example, Jersey Girl posted this to her blog and I've watched it about 20 times (and laughed every time)

About 6 years ago, I received this from a friend and spend a whole weekend pissing myself. Make sure you have the sound turned up. (And if you're starting a karoke of this and DESPERATELY need the lyrics...)

My LCP (Lock City Picks) of the weekend. It's ALL dogs.

Eagles (+5), Seahawks (+9), and Pats (whatever the line is). I like the Colts (+3.5), too....but the game is midway through the 1st quarter while I typed this, so I don't want to get ripped for picking a game midway through.

Happy New Year....and Happy Groundhog's Day, too

Someone wished me a Happy New Year yesterday. That's 10 days after the actual event. Is this the norm? I mean, I understand things in the world are a little out of whack with the whole greenhouse effect causing 70 degree weather....but 10 days?

Punxsutawney Phil and Auld Lang Syne don't mix, people.

Some things that came through my mind recently....

-- When the summer hits, there's always a "Christmas in July" celebration somewhere. How come there are no "July 4th in December" parties?

-- Is George Bush really THIS stupid? Sending more troops to Iraq is akin to dropping a batch on the hood of a police car with the officer IN the vehicle and then eating a Taco Bell value meal and, well.....you get the picture. I think.

-- This just in. Barry Bonds says he's not black. He actually borrowed some skin from Moises Alou and didn't realize it was that color. He's actually Indian and is moving to Iselin.

-- If Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, it ain't in Diaz's neighborhood. When is this guy going to pull a Lance Bass and come out of the closet? (I'm sure that's not going to earn me brownie points from the girlfriend).

And isn't he on Minute 15 yet?

I went to the Rutgers/Syracuse game last night and it was one of the most boring tilts I had ever watched. This has to be one of the worst teams I've seen in the Scarlet and White....the offense was woeful....it doesn't help that the entire scoring attack has set up shop on a bench somewhere in Sacramento.

Watching the game from the next to last row at the RAC was a new experience for me. Even though I have been to dozens of games there, I had never been so high that I was fearful of planes nailing me. The last time I was that high at a sporting event was a rainy Jets/Pats game with Mr. Sandman.

High with Mr. Sandman. Well, that's kind of redundant.

I just want to wish Jersey Girl the best with her "procedure". We are scheduled for a group outing and although I have a feeling her drugged up arse will still show up, she will be greatly missed with the many clowns, shills, and yahoos in attendance.

My Coke Rewards up to 2003. Off I go to fire out expletives while watching Seton Hall beat the piss out of St. John's. Oh, so painful.

Blogging About Blogging

Whenever I head to aol.com to check my email (or many times in my case, thousands of messages to increase penis size...no comments, please), there's always some pretty interesting story popping up at the top of the site. Whether it's some top 10 list or story about home prices dropping (I think my place went from being a small fortune to being worth about a 6-pack of Nattie Light), I always feel the need to click and check out all the "important" news items out there.





This morning, there was this story about Jessica Cutler. Cutler was a staff assistant in Washington, who made her sexual exploits with various Capitol Hill powerbrokers public on her blogs. Now, the case is going to court.





It's absurd this is even considered as a case. She kept the names out her blog and has the right to write or speak as she pleases. Robert Steinbuch, one of several men with whom she played "Hide the Bacon", found the wrong woman to trust and is paying the price. Too bad.





Nice job by Jason Taylor. The guy is right on here. There should be a rule in the NFL to prevent someone from winning such an award after a failed drug test. As a pro athlete you should know EVERYTHING that goes into your system. No "I didn't know what the ingredients were" excuses anymore.





And the same should apply for holding a high office in this country. Use drugs, no presidency. Sounds like a good idea. I'm sure about 2,800 families of soldiers who lost their lives in Iraq would have had a much happier holiday season.

With the passing of Gerald Ford, I remember back to this skit from Sat. Night Live and one of my all-time heroes....Dana Carvey....doing a little Brokaw. Enjoy Robert Smigel, the creator of Triumph, the Comic Insult Dog and numerous other hilarious bits, with the background voiceover. Thanks to Frey for finding this.

Cheer up Caroll Gymnastics....3 more months till the cruise!

Greatest Moments of the Year

The year is coming to a close and overall, it was a joyous year...ranking somewhere near the top middle probably between 1983 when I received my first He-Man figure and 1984 (something about the Summer Olympics in the U.S. got me excited that year....maybe the whole George Orwell theme thing put that near the top of the list). As I sit home with a cold that has me stuck in bed, what better way to recap the year than the top things that happened to me in 2006 (like any of you really care):

Here are my top moments of 2006.

10. Angles at Yankees, August 14th.
I headed into the city with Joe Pendleton to catch this game. This one started off on a downnote with our train out of Metropark over an hour late. As we comtemplated just heading back to a bar or my place to watch the game, the train showed up and we were on our way. One of the thoughts that came through our minds was the family of four standing next to us who probably were throwing down about $200 on tickets, transporation, food, etc. Lunacy for a baseball game. Thank God for free tickets. We met up with Jorg and another cat at the game. The much maligned ARod got a sac fly to push the Yanks ahead 3-2 and help Randy Johnson win his 13th by a 7-2 final. The Big Unit also fanned Tim Salmon for his 4,500th K of his career. Was it the game that was exciting or watching Tim Salmon's final appearance at Yankee Stadium that did it for me? Maybe it was the 13 Coke lids I was able to accumulate towards my current total of 1,775 points.

9. Carino Memorial Day Shindig, May 28th.

I've been to Memorial Day parties before. It's the run-of-the-mill sit outside and drink type of deal. This party went beyond that. There was a good showing from the journalist crowd including the Sandman and that always makes it enjoyable. However, I don't think I have ever seen a certain Italian journalist as intoxicated as I did at his own party. Looking at his Dontrelle Willis-like state, I think the man would have cleaned out liquor stores in some small European countries. The highlight came when he was spotted urinating on his OWN lawn. I don't think it was a good idea to take a child's toy and jam his arse with it around 8 bells. He proceded to chase me around the yard for about 20 minutes. About 10 years and 90 lbs again, he would have had me...easily. But I was able to elude him and depart with 9 coke lids and my spleen intact.

8. Dr. Nazz's Bachelor Party in Vegas, June 22-24.
A trip to Vegas HAS to be in the top 5, right? I had a great time, but the only thing that's keeping it out of the elite moments was the fact I had to depart early and miss the REAL "festivities." Some highlights: running into boxer Winky Wright in the Mandalay Bay and Alan Thicke in the rumjungle night club and doing shtick in a cabana outside the pool at the Mandalay Bay.

7. Lifer/Staff Softball Game, July 14th.
The first of hopefully many softball games between the more and less experienced staff members at my summer camp was a resounding success. Between the pre-game build up to the jerseys created by Eric Program and associates, this was going to be a game for the ages (or in many of our cases, the aged).

The game was under the lights in Somerville and only the forecast of rain would be the only downside to one of the greatest nights in my softball life (then again, how many times have I played night softball in my life.....1? 2?). With the bases loaded, I stepped up and lined a shot to right field that rolled past the rightfielder. I was able to leg it out to a triple and eliminate past ghosts of Little League. Those were the days when I would try and crouch as low as I could to get a base on balls. I don't look at it as being fearful of the pitcher at 11 years old, but rather being a headsy leadoff hitter......too bad I was hitting 9th in the lineup. We won the camp game 21-2 and I'd like to think my hit was the one that opened it up for us. I'd also like to think I have a shot at People Magazine's Sexiest Men Alive of 2007 but I don't want to get too carried away.

6. Colorado Trip with E, November 3rd-5th.

My girlfriend and I went West to see the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. VFR. Another short trip but a good time was had by all. Between the wedding and walking/shopping in Denver, I had a chance to spend time with E...something I don't get to do much with her a state away. We also went to Columbine High School and revisted one of the most tragic events in our nation's history.

5. First Anniversary Outing, August 20th.
Although the anniversary wasn't until the 21st, I went to the city the weekend prior to the date with my girlfriend went to have lunch at Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's (something I was really excited about) and watch the off-broadway show Stomp (something I wasn't AS excited about). To make this short and sweet, the lunch sucked but the show was awesome. I had a great time in, as Local Shill would say, the "filthy city," and I think the girlfriend enjoyed herself too.

4. Saints at Steelers trip, November 11-12th.
There are few things in life more difficult to aquire than Steelers tickets at a low price. Every May, the Steelers hold a lottery and give out some extra tickets to some of their home games. I wanted to give the tickets to my brother as an early birthday gift (REALLY early....his bday is in January). Figuring I had a shot at some of the more meaningless games, I threw a $220 check into the envelope and went after the Saints and Bucs games. To quote Rutgers radio announcer Bruce Johnson, I was "waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting...."

3. Valentine's Day, Feburary 14th.
When I ranked holidays as a kid and young adult, this one ranked at or near the bottom (right around Yom Kippur and Christmas.....the latter for obvious reasons....for those who weren't aware the "A" is a very jewish last name)
This past one was a different story. I LOVE surprising people and I got to shock the girlfriend in a large way. Complete with a delivery of roses and an evening drive south to Delaware, I waltzed into the girlfriend's apartment complex and surprised her beyond belief. Red face...big smile....one of my best arrangements in history. And a big thank you goes out to JDogg for helping set the thing up.
We went to a restaurant in Wilmington called Deep Blue. Despite almost burning my tongue off with a Chipolte Shrimp appetizer, the food was very delicious. Overall, a very enjoyable evening and definitely worth the trip.

2. Rutgers football defeats Louisville, November 9th.
I went to Rutgers during four of the darkest years in its sports history. The football team had more to laugh about than the comics at the nearby Stress Factory. I had never experienced an atmosphere quite like the Louisville game. Ran into some of some old acquiantances and got to see a 28-25 RU victory that ranks as arguably the best win since the fencing team won a co-national championship over 50 years ago (yeah, that's a close one).

1. My Surprise BDay Party, April 14th.
Although the organizers told me it was a party for my then-2-year-old Nephew, I admit, I had an inkling something was up. Maybe it was the comments made by my family during breakfast where they asked my girlfriend if she was "going to Todd A's birthday party" later that day. Or the weird way my brother ushered me into the house. Either way, I had a great time. It's not so much the surprise element as the people who actually attended. Joe Pendleton and Mrs. Pendleton, Local Shill, plenty of my camp cronies including the girlfriend, and F Squad.

Honorable mention: Cavs at Nets tilt with No 1 Dooshbag, Local and future Mrs. Shill engagement party, Dinner at Ruths Chris with the girlfriend, Multitude of weddings that I don't want to single out for fear of pissing off some people, Yankees tilt with Yorg and Joe Pendleton, Counting Crows with the Billaz, Live Concert with my brother.

Here's to a great 2007!

Is THIS the low point?

Can it get any worse?





A basketball team in the world's largest sports city should be a title contender year in and year out, right?





Not when you have a clown running the organization. Yes, I know James Dolan wasn't on the court when the New York Knicks played the Denver Nuggets on Saturday night, but this is the same guy who hired Isiah Thomas and turned this franchise into a laughingstock. Thomas never had success running a team, wasn't this the same guy who ran the CBA into the dumps?





That's more reason to hate Cablevision.





I like how the NY Knicks website had the headline "Knicks Overcome by Nuggets" on the Knicks homepage following the contest. Overcome? Wasn't there a bigger story here? Like the right hand from Carmelo embedded into Mardy Collins face? If you listen to the radio broadcast of the fight, it almost sounds like the crowd is at a heavyweight fight. Maybe MSG should just shutdown the hoops season and host boxing for the rest of the season.





I think the NBA is a mess right now. I can't watch the games not only because my team is awful but also due to the fact that the players come off more as thugs than anything else. Does it say anything that both of the league's top points scorers (Melo and AI) will be missing a slew of games not due to injury, but as a result of their own inflated egos?





Nice work by you. All that surfing for porn has finally paid off.





Thanks to Edgerrin Becht for finding this.....I guess this woman will be staying away from the chili from this point forward.

You always see Christmas in July parties over the summer. Well, I think more effort should be made for July 4th in December parties. Just a thought.

Happy Holidays to all. 60 degree weather....It definitely feels like Christmas in the air.

Ohio State for Natl Champs

I wasn't planning on posting tonight but the more I hear people discussing the need for a playoff system, the more I get irritated that college football lets money and corporate domination take over in lieu of allowing these teams to settle it on the field.

In my opinion, Florida should be in the title game, because they won the conference crown and played in the toughest conference in the country (two things Michigan did not). Oh, and they didn't lose to Ohio State late in the year (one thing Michigan did).

BUT If we can't have a playoff and TRULY decide which team is the best in college football, I say forget the championship game. Just name Ohio State champion and end it there.

Sure we'd lose out on the title game and all the excitement it would cause, but isn't it clear that OSU is the best team in the country? The Buckeyes have played a BCS league schedule and went unblemished. No other team can say that.

Why not turn the BIG game into a Florida/Michigan matchup? The Battle for Second Place. The Struggle for the Silver. The Gatorines Game. Ok..maybe that's a stretch.

That might not solve EVERYTHING, but it seems like these two teams are the only ones most people feel should be ranked number 2 in the country.

And the consenus remains that OSU is number 1. I'm sure Jersey Girl won't have a problem with that.

Oh....Thank you, Greg.

Football Good, Basketball Baaaaaaaaaad

I can't believe how BAD the Rutgers men's basketball team is.

Yes, I understand a HUGE offensive force departed in first-round pick Quincy Douby, but to losses to Jackson State, Miami (OH), Bradley and a previously winless Temple squad?


And it ain't even December yet!


Was the cupboard THAT bare? Fred Hill is making Craig Littlepage look like Dean Smith. The hoops team might not surpass the football team in victories this season. I NEVER thought I'd say that. I was actually looking forward to seeing this team play a down Seton Hall team this season.

But RU must be worse than the Pirates. I look forward to seeing the RPI rankings and Rutgers hovering near teams like Army, Praire View A & M and Savannah State.


The Scarlet Knights beat St. Thomas Aquinas by 41 points. How BAD is that squad? Even for a Division 2 school.

Rutgers is scheduled to play Nebraska at the RAC on Saturday at 4:30 p.m. With the football team playing at 7:30 p.m. in the biggest game in Rutgers history, I don't forsee many staying for the second half of a 30 point deficit.

Nebraska is 4-0 with a good win against Creighton. I think their guard used to play Urkel. Or was that Jaleel? Never mind.

• I noticed this story on the wire and when I read the headline, I thought it was about someone who is having problems with erectile dysfunction.

• Well, I guess I can cross Forth Worth off the places where I intend on dropping a batch.

Congrats to my brother's friend GHM (no relation to FHM), who recently took home the top prize in a Fossil watch contest.

Hmmmm....i find it ironic that he won a $1000 gift certificate right around the SAME time my watch stopped working....Hey GHM....I voted for ya!!!!

The Steel City and the Steel Cardinal

Plenty of exciting things have happened since the last blogging.

Let's start with the Saints/Steelers tilt that I attended with my brother on Nov. 12th. We drove out to Pittsburgh (about a 5 1/2 hour trip...which didn't include a stop at Arby's....I am still shocked to know that Arby's is given its name for the initials of Roast Beef....amazing)

On Saturday, we went to Heinz Field about 4 hours prior to the 4:15 p.m. kickoff (thank you flex scheduling) and ran into the Fox Pregame show. While donning Local Shill's Raymell Rice jersey, I met Howie Long, who reminded me how Lee Corso had "KILLED Rutgers" that week.

I told him Corso also picked Cal/WVU in the title game and then informed him I purchased all my batteries at Radio Shack.

He wasn't amused.

After the pregame ended, Jimmy Johnson was the first to bolt from the autograph session...then Bradshaw and Long. Joe Buck stayed the longest and even do some shtick with the fans. I enjoyed watching that small tuft of hair blowing around. That kid definitely uses Propecia.....not that there's anything wrong with losing a little hair.

Or all of your hair.

Back to the game....we had some pretty crappy seats...they were about 2 rows from the top.....the top of a passing 747. So, we elected to move down and took a risk. Heinz Field is built in sections, so if you want to move to the sideline sections, you have to go down a long ramp. Fortunately, we were able to find two seats at the 50 about one section up and watched the game with some hard core fans.

The game was ALL offense. It didn't help the Steelers that Troy Polamalu was knocked out early in the first quarter. The final score was 38-31....there was more scoring in that game than on the Spice Channel (and no, I'm not putting a link in there). Marques Coltston has some of the best hands in football and was truly a sight to see in person. I'm not annoiting him as the new Jerry Rice, but the guy has real talent.

Other items:

-- The Hall of Fame ballots are out and I couldn't agree more with Mr. Rosenthal (and not just because he probably celebrates Rosh Hashana). I was a big fan of McGwire and was thrilled with what he did for baseball during that remarkable stretch in the late 90s. However, if we are to ostracize Bonds and Palmiero, why should McGwire get a pass? Even though steroids weren't "banned" from baseball, they were and still are illegal when unauthorized. I don't think you can make an argument for McGwire and maybe he should be voted when he comes clean....as for now....I think all of his votes should go to someone else....

....like Don Mattingly? Please? Yeah....even I don't think he deserves to be in....but it was worth a shot. How about Paul O'Neill? (thought I'd give it a shot)

-- We're coming to the stretch run in the fantasy football season. As much as the girlfriend hates me for it, I'm addicted to watching stats add up on my cbs.sportsline site to see if I can beat someone else, who is also watching the stats, while we play "pretend" football.

It's amazing because I'm sure I couldn't beat most of these team owners at a game of REAL football but when it comes to the fantasy world, I'm 9-3 and 6-5-1 and likely heading to at least one playoff berth. And it's almost as satisfying as winning a real game, too.

When can they make Fantasy Supermodel Dating? I keeed, I keeeeed.

-- Last and least, the Giants....what an agonizing loss. I don't even want to break it down because it's get me more fired up than Local Shill after the 2001 Stanley Cup playoffs. I never knew plastic, white patio chairs outside the 16th and A compound could absorb so much brute force.

I'm glad the Rutgers run has given him and all of us something for which we can cheer.

My Coke Rewards approaching 1,400! Still...nothing good.

RU RAH RAH!!!

"Never in a million years..."

That seemed to be the start to every quote uttered outside Rutgers Stadium after Rutgers HUGE 28-25 victory over Louisville last night.

Watching the Yankees win is great but it's always expected. I never saw this coming. Like many others, I saw another blowout and was proven wrong again. Local Shill and I calculated how many victories I had in my four years On The Banks. The total came to 11 wins. This team has won 9 already and may eclipse my 11 win total even BEFORE the bowl game. So many years of watching Rutgers sink to a sub-.500 record....I feel like it's been an eternity. Well, I can't say that....but I'm sure this cat can.

"Just think, 40 years ago he was considered 'old.' " -- Local Shill offering his insight

I attended the contest with a few friends and it was like Homecoming Part II. Actually, it was probably better than Homecoming. The lots were packed and Mike and the Angry Puppy (below with Ray Lucas and Marco Battaglia) were there. Guys were throwing tons of insults at both of them all throughout the show. I learned so much about Mad Dog's mother. It was very informative.

A couple of notes from the game
-- How is it possible you can't get ANY Verizon phone service anywhere near the stadium? This didn't used to be the case. You'd figure the largest cell phone company and largest state univ. could get together and compare notes. This is a major engineering school, right?

-- It's amazing how many text messages I got after Rutgers pulled out that win. I learned that you only hear from people 1) when people leave the building and 2) huge games with BCS implications that involve your alma mater (Jersey Girl better get her phone ready on the 18th)

-- In one season, this team went from 56-5 (loss) to 28-25 (win). Unless there's a complete turnover in personnel, I can't understand how this could be possible.

--Mike Teel is something like 34-1 as a starting quarterback. Slightly deceiving. That's like me being 8-0 against NFL Players in tackle football. (Madden football for PS2, of course)

I ran into several people at the game I hadn't seen in ages (of course I couldn't call them on the phone for the reason listed above). I guess when there are 44,000+ people in attendance, you're bound to see someone you know.

You're also bound to wait in a bathroom line for 30 mins to drop a batch. Memo to Rutgers administration: You're making hundreds of thousands of dollars with this run....install more crappers. I watched the bathroom lines and it looked like Bill Gates was giving out $1000 bills or something.

On the subject of long lines.....can someone PLEASE explain this to me? For a wedding dress? Playstation 3....ok maybe. But a wedding dress? At least you can get in a few games of Madden on the HiDef set with the PS3.

Since Jersey Girl is on vacation, I figured this would be something she'd touch on.

How dare the state of Maine put restrictions on such legends? No alcohol on the job? Blasphemous! Do these clowns really expect us to agree with their side? People probably doled out like $2.50 or even MORE to see them in concert and now they have to rearrange their plans for this week, stay home and read in their bedrooms/parent's basements.

On a final note, the world of journalism lost a terrific reporter in Ed Bradley. Known to me as the old dude with the earring, I truly enjoyed his stories...from the recent one on Howard Stern to Muhammed Ali to the one with Michael Jackson that made everyone cringe.
Chris Rock touched on that one brilliantly.

My Coke Rewards at 1100. STILL nothing good. Stench.

Happy Erection Day!

Welcome to election season, where the stench on tv is worse than a middle schooler's 4-month-old unwashed gym clothes.

We criticize those in society who are violent and commit nasty crimes to innocent people. Rightfully so. But when I turn on the television set and see nasty commercials attacking political candidates and make constant comparisons to political candidates and the mafia, I have to ask...who really is running this country?

Case in point, look at this ad which was featured prominently on Opie and Anthony.

Are you KIDDING me???

Nothing like a group of representatives that are composed mostly by lawyers. And we wonder how lawyers get a bad rap.

This is the week of travelling for me. I went out to Denver with the girlfriend for a wedding this past weekend. Did some shtick with some friends from Rutgers. While we were out there we made a stopover at Columbine High School. Opting to remain in the car, we were the only clowns in the parking lot taking pictures from afar. Very eerie.

I remember when the incident happened and the Columbine area was compared to Westfield, NJ. I could see why. The area seemed like it was on the wealthier side and mostly white. However, there was no Castle Bootery...and we all know how important that is to the Westfield community. I think I got my first pair of Zips there.

After the exciting Louisville/Rutgers game this Thursday, I will be joining my brother for a trek to Pittsburgh for the game against the Saints. Two teams going in different directions. I'll be the only one in Heinz Field wearing a Tiki Barber jersey.

I'll also be the only one likely danging by the same jersey from a pole atop the stadium.

Don't forget to get out and vote!